Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Thanks, everyone

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their good wishes, especially after the childish rant I just posted. Honestly it felt good to get it out of my system and I appreciate you bearing with me. Your words of encouragement mean the world to me. Love you guys!!

The past 32 hours


7:30 am: Go to dialysis.

11:20 am: Leave dialysis. Need to make a quick turnaround after getting home so I can be at the hospital at noon. Stop at stoplight at Manchaca and William Cannon. Feel something drip on leg and realize one of my dialysis sites on my arm has started bleeding again. A lot. Let some obscenities fly and drive the rest of the way home left handed with my right hand clamped down as hard as humanly possible on the leak. Thank my lucky stars Ryan is at home and have him help clean me and my car.

11:50 am: My parents shuttle me to the hospital.

1:30 pm: Stare in awe at the IV the anesthesiologist has managed to start in one try - a feat not accomplished by anyone else in the last 3 years.

2:00 pm: Waiting

3:00 pm: More waiting

3:30 pm: Dr's office calls to inform me that my doctor is running 3 hours late and would I mind if another doctor did the procedure. Are they kidding? At this point I'd let Dr. Nick do it if it would speed things up.

Hi, everybuddy!

4:00 pm: A nurse takes a sharpie and inexplicably draws an 'X' on each of my feet. For reals.

4:30 pm: My new best friend the anesthesiologist gives me some happy medicine.

5:00 pm: Wake up. Try to focus on electrophysiologist as he tells me not only were they able to induce an irregular heartbeat, but they had to shock me to get it back into rhythm. Signs point to me needing a defibrillator. CRAP.

5:30 pm: Get moved to a private room. Will have to spend the next 4 hours lying flat on my back to help stop the bleeding where they put the needle in my leg. Become unfairly cranky with everyone. Not sure at this point if I'm more upset about needing a defibrillator or the knowledge that my back will be killing me in 3 hours.

8:30 pm: My back is killing me.

9:00 pm: Time to go. Yay! Take a walk with the nurse up and down the hall to make sure bleeding has stopped before they let me go home. 10 feet from finishing my walk the site starts bleeding. A lot.

9:10 pm: Ryan says he really needs to be home by 10 to get ready for his business trip to New York on Tuesday.

9:15 pm: After calling the doctor, the nurse tells me I'll have to stay another 2 hours. Ryan selflessly assures me it's ok - he can stay with me and bring me home at 11.

9:30 pm: Nurse instructs me not to take a shower or remove the pressure bandage for 24 hours. Yuck.

11:30 pm: We finally get home. Ryan starts packing and printing travel documents. I am starving -- time has slowed to a crawl and I feel like it takes me 15 minutes to construct my peanut butter sandwich.

12:30 pm: Finally flop into bed.


7:15 am: Wake up, feed dogs, feed self, clean self up as best as possible, say goodbye to Ryan.

8:30 am: Cardiologist appointment. Am comforted by the fact that my cardiologist and I seem to be on the same page. He sympathizes with my difficult choice about the defibrillator and schedules yet another test to help me with my decision.

9:30 am: Driving home from my appointment, I realize I have forgotten to ask cardiologist about a change in medication suggested by the migraine specialist I saw in Houston a week ago. CRAP.

11:00 am: Want to sleep so badly.

12:00 pm: Hop in car to voyage to north Austin to see a new doctor, an endocrinologist, about my severe osteoporosis. Am mainly seeing her to humor my OBGYN who was not pleased with my last bone density test.

Too. Many. Doctors.

1:30 pm: Meet new doctor for a grand total of 10 minutes. She's obviously a big cheese and doesn't have time for my usual protesting. Orders more bloodwork and wants me to come back twice in the next 2 weeks for appointments and more tests. Oh, AND wants me to bring the results from my last bone scan, which.....WHY can't they call up my doctor's office and get it from them??

2:30 pm: Drive home seething. I am not a happy camper.

2:45 pm: Come to the conclusion that 70% of my anger is stemming from my lack of sleep and the world is not against me. Tell self to suck it up.

Currently: Counting the minutes until I can jump into my hot shower.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Cardio testing

I mentioned a while back that I would have to have testing at some point to see if I needed a defibrillator. The time is finally here and I'm going in tomorrow afternoon for my procedure. To be perfectly honest, I'm more than a little uneasy. Not about the procedure, but about the results. I'm still not comfortable with the idea of having a big piece of metal shoved into my chest and honestly I don't know if I'll do it even if it's recommended. That may seem like a foolish choice and maybe it is, but this is a huge lifestyle change and it makes me uneasy. We'll see.