Troubles McSteans

Anyone who knows me pretty well is aware of the fact that I sometimes have issues with making decisions. I say "sometimes" because there are miraculous occasions where a choice becomes very clear to me. Thankfully, these are usually decisions that carry some sort of importance, like choosing a house, car, or even my wedding dress. My problem occurs when faced with an endless array of options and my ultimate decision matters zilch in the grand scheme of things. Examples include: Choosing a paint colors for rooms , forcing the application of said paint to be pushed back months or even years. Shopping for anything in a department store . The sensory overload makes me uncomfortable and panicky. This is also why I try to avoid malls at all possible. Choosing a blog topic . Crikey is this a problem for me. I can't tell you how many different ideas I've discarded in just the past week. The most common advice of course is write what you know. Well, honestly my life...

I would like to say thank you for all of the support and kind words we have received. It helps immensely to hear from friends of Mel. I know he loved each and every one of you and would say thank you for each head scratch and every ball toss. It's been a rough week, though the tears are subsiding. Even when there are no tears I feel out of sorts, as though a part of me has gone missing. While I hate that Ryan is also suffering, it does help that he is going through this with me and we take turns crying on shoulders. Lucy is, in her own bizarrely special way, helping a lot. I started to break down the other night and she began nudging my back and whining. When I turned around she looked at me with her sweet brown eyes and said (in a voice that sounded surprisingly like Ryan's), "Momma, don't be sad". I immediately shut down the waterworks and went to give her a hug. Lucy doesn't understand what is going on, but she knows something is up. She's been ...

Sounds like the stay-at-home wife phenomenon is growing in popularity. This article , detailing the lifestyle choice of non-working childless women, hit close to home. There are probably situations (I'd like to believe) where the man is the chosen homemaker, but this article focuses on women. In most cases, couples are in enough of a financially stable situation that one of them can stay at home to focus on household chores. This frees up the working half of the couple from having to deal with laundry, groceries, etc. when they come home. Granted, my situation is a little different. Although they do mention health being one of the reasons for not working, most times this a deliberate lifestyle choice to relieve stress for both parties in the marriage. When I quit my last job three years ago, I had every intention of seeking new employment. I had spent 7 years on and off working as a software engineer and had concluded programming was not my life's calling. I was in the...

Anyone that has been to my house when I'm not expecting company knows I'm not the tidiest of people. Honestly it's good for us to have folks over frequently as it forces us to do cleanups. I don't like being this way. I wish I was one of those people (the majority of the population) who are able to put things back after they use them. Simple enough, right? But sometimes I remember to do this and other times I space out. Then the spacing out overpowers the remembering and soon I've got a cluttered living room. Having animals doesn't help. About a year ago we gave up completely trying to keep the dogs off the couch, so there's dog and cat hair everywhere. The hair is only part of the problem. Our backyard has grass except for over by the fence where Lucy has dug a trench running back and forth to bark at the neighbor dogs. When it rains this turns into a mud pit. Then Miss Lucy and sometimes Mel will show up at the door wearing a nice set of mud bo...