Thursday, January 8, 2009

On Hold

Making good on my resolution to blog more.

I'm currently on hold with [my secondary insurance company] as they valiantly try to figure out some bizzare charges from [my local hospital]. I already spent half an hour this morning on the phone with the primary insurance. This is how I end up not getting anything done.

On the plus side, I actually located the property tax bill in the trashheap of paperwork cluttering my office and got it off in the mail yesterday, so I can cross something off of my list. Yays!

Cassidy is staying with us while Jason has some foundation work done on his house, which has been good for Lucy. I just have to make sure they don't have too much fun trying to kill each other, otherwise Cassidy will be down to 2 legs.

Going to collect Mel's ashes from the Animal Hospital today. We'll be spreading them at the Barton Creek spillover on Saturday at 11:30 for anyone who wants to join us. More about that on Ryan's blog.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Thank yous and Resolutions

I would like to say thank you for all of the support and kind words we have received. It helps immensely to hear from friends of Mel. I know he loved each and every one of you and would say thank you for each head scratch and every ball toss.

It's been a rough week, though the tears are subsiding. Even when there are no tears I feel out of sorts, as though a part of me has gone missing. While I hate that Ryan is also suffering, it does help that he is going through this with me and we take turns crying on shoulders.

Lucy is, in her own bizarrely special way, helping a lot. I started to break down the other night and she began nudging my back and whining. When I turned around she looked at me with her sweet brown eyes and said (in a voice that sounded surprisingly like Ryan's), "Momma, don't be sad". I immediately shut down the waterworks and went to give her a hug.

Lucy doesn't understand what is going on, but she knows something is up. She's been anxious and destructive in a way she hasn't been since Ryan went back to work when we moved back to Austin. This morning she got into a trash can and Saturday night it was an entire box of Christmas dog biscuits.

She, or should I say 'we', were paying for that Sunday morning.

She splarfed on four couch cushions, her dog bed, and the floor of the car on the way to the emergency vet. She's fine now, but boy was that fun to clean up. Never a dull moment.

Normally I hate New Years resolutions because I seem to forget what they even were come mid February, but maybe if I document them I'll have less of an excuse.

Things I need to get done that aren't fun:

1. Clean my office
Around the time we had the floors done, my office became a storage room. During the holidays it also became the room where I tossed all of my mail into random piles. I need to go through those to locate stray bills like, yesterday. And on that note...

2. Pay property tax
I love living in Austin, but once a year when the tax statement rolls in...yikes. We may have to dig into Lucy's college fund for this one.

3. Spring cleaning - cabinets and closets
I somehow manage to talk myself into thinking our house isn't that cluttered until I open one of the kitchen cabinets or upstairs closets and cringe in surprise that I am not immediately buried, sitcom style, in a pile of junk. This task shouldn't be too daunting if I do one cabinet or closet per day.

Things I would like to do for enjoyment:

1. Walk Lucy more
I can pretty much be counted out for walkies on dialysis days, but there's no excuse otherwise. She needs a whole lot more exercise than she's getting (as do I) so I think we can make the effort.

2. Blog more
One thing I should stop doing to make blogging seem less of a chore is to quit writing it on my daily to do lists. That way there's not as much pressure and it should make it more voluntary and fun.

3. Find more new music
My iPod still has a ton of free space and I had lots of fun last year discovering new bands. I am open to suggestions if anyone has any.

I think that's a good start.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

When I was a kid I was afraid of dogs. My only exposure to them included a yippy mutt who chased me on my way home from school every day, a friend's daschund who bit her dad's ear the first week they had it, and the menagerie of pooches housed down the street at the Kinslow's house I feared too much to get to know. (They were actually very nice dogs, I was just a wuss)

I was always a cat person and got my first cat when I was eight after months of helping Doug badger my parents for a kitten. Our second cat came along eight years later when my dad decided Moki needed a friend.

When Ryan and I moved into our first apartment post college we decided to adopt a kitten from the animal shelter. Ryan knew I was a cat lover and an apartment seemed better suited for cat than canine. Thus began the reign of Jeff the Cat.

Melbotis came into the picture 4 months after our wedding and a few weeks after moving to our first house on Briar street. By this time I was no longer afraid of dogs and liked them, but had not a clue how to care for one. He was huge, left carpets of hair in his wake, and needed constant attention. Mel and I got along fine - my answer to his neediness being to either play fetch, take him for a walk, or sit on the front porch while he sunned himself on his back in the yard.

These things seemed to make him happy, but there was something missing. I was not his favorite person. You knew you were Mel's friend when you entered the house and he presented you with a toy and happy squealing.

I never got the squealing.

In April 2002, I got a job in Tempe, AZ and moved to our new city a month ahead of Ryan, Mel, and Jeff. It was during this absence I realized how much I missed my fluffy orange friend. I came home for a weekend visit mid May and got my first ever squeally welcome from Mel. It warmed my heart.

Mel and I became good friends in Arizona. Ryan and I didn't make many people friends and had to rely on each other and our animals for entertainment and comforting. Mel stepped up to the plate. When I needed to get some air he was always up for walkies. When I needed to talk he always had intelligent, attentive eyes and two perky ears for listening. When I needed a hug he made the best teddy bear. And when I was sick he would stay close, not demanding, but placing himself so that his presence brought comfort.

I never thought I would love a dog so much. I never thought it would hurt so much to have him gone.

I love you so, so much, Melly. I hope you had a good life with us and are somewhere where the sun always shines and there are an infinite number of tennis balls to collect. Goodbye my friend, my good boy.