Emmylou and Old News Too

Hi. 

Hello. 

Long time no chat. 

So...apologies for the incredibly long hiatus, but I went through some stuff the past few years. This post is not going to go into great detail, and it's not even a continuation of my Diagnosis series. I'm not sure there will even be more Diagnosis. The truth is, it's much easier to talk about things that are in the past when you can separate yourself from the trauma. When you're in it and your future is uncertain, it becomes infinitely more difficult. So I will do a little synopsis about my health and then get on with it.

When last we chatted, I left you in a bad place. My cardiologist was even seriously considering trying to get me a heart and kidney transplant. He passed me off to a heart failure specialist at the same office when he determined my situation beyond his capabilities. Ryan and I went to meet with Dr. HeartFailure, fully bracing ourselves to map out the transplant plan, but were shocked at the appointment when he informed us that he had been looking at my chart and, "didn't think I was ready for that yet."

So much relief.

Dr. HeartFailure had a two-part plan: 

Step 1: Dealing with my dialysis fistula. If you don't recall, a fistula is an enhanced vein in your arm (your access) that allows increased blood flow during dialysis in order to get a proper cleaning.  Most fistulas don't last 25 years, but mine was established in 1999 and just keeps on truckin'. If they do last and don't have any problems, they just keep getting bigger and stronger. Mine is enormous, y'all, and kinda gross looking. I usually try to hide it when I go out in public. Big is great for dialysis, but also has the disadvantage of putting a lot of stress on your heart. So. I had surgery to "band" the fistula to make it a little smaller while keeping it functional for my treatments.

Step 2: I would start a new medication (new in general, not to just me) specifically for heart failure that helps your body process and maintain a good level of nitrous oxide in your blood. 

Guess what? Both of those things worked. My symptoms subsided and after about 6 months we did another echocardiogram and my heart function levels were back to my usual "below average" but not "horrifying."

That is a very slimmed down version of events. It was a completely awful and scary and stressful period of a little over a year for BOTH of us in this house. In addition to, and because of the heart failure symptoms, I was getting sick during and after dialysis. Every treatment. I also had a long, puzzling episode of anemia whose source was finally traced to severe heartburn that was literally making my insides bleed. (They started me on Nexium for that one - problem solved.) Ryan, in addition to his own personal stresses, was worried sick but managed to put on a brave face and do most everything around the house during that time. I cannot say enough about this man's character and kindness, y'all. How do I deserve him?

So that is all I have to say about that. You needed to know how I got from "about to go on the transplant list" to "pretty healthy again, all things considered," especially since I wasn't talking about it at all.

Travel

2025 has been an eventful year. We are finally getting back to socializing, going to movies, doing family stuff, and just generally rejoining the world. Ryan and I hadn't travelled out of state since pre-Pandemic days. No really. The first few years were yes, because of Covid, but more recently it's been due to my health. So now that I was finally feeling better we were determined to get OUT. Plus both of us turned 50 and it was our 25th wedding anniversary this year, so we had to do something.

This being our first trip in over 5 years, we wanted to go somewhere somewhat familiar and easy. Also due to Ryan's new job we could only be absent for a handful of days. So we chose Chicago in June. We stayed at Palmer House, which...I highly recommend. We'd been there in 2012 and absolutely loved it. It's historical and beautiful and right next to a bunch of museums and parks and trains.

Ryan in Palmer House

We took in a Cubs game, went on an architecture boat tour, roamed around, and ate WAY too much good food. It would have been a perfect trip, but Ryan started coming down with something halfway through. He powered through, though, and we got him home and eventually well.

I was also able to go visit Doug and Kristen in Berkeley in July, which is crazy that I had not been out to see my brother in over 5 years. D and K have been here a lot, but I missed getting out to visit them. I had yet to meet my two niece-cats, who have been there for 5 years already and are the sweetest little weirdos. It was another great trip with fabulous weather (60s in July), great food, and a trip to the Oakland Zoo. I just wish Ryan had been able to come along.

Kristen spies an escaped Liger at the Oakland Zoo

Dogs

Those of you who follow me on Facebook might have been aware that our beloved Great Pyrenees, Andre, passed suddenly in January. Loving giant dogs comes with a cost, as they don't tend to live as long and sometimes are prone to getting cancer at a younger age. We didn't know precisely how old Andre was, but we estimated about nine, and he'd only been with us for three years. It was just not enough time and we were devastated. I still miss my giant teddy bear.

Andre the Great

In June, after our trip to Chicago, we headed to the Humane Society (original home of Jeff the Cat and Scout) to take a look at their pups. Having already scanned their website, we had a number of doggies we wanted to take a look at. But as they were having a "free adoption" weekend, the place was slammed and most of the dogs we had in mind were already having visitations with other potential families. 

But over in the corner, under a row of puppies, was an adorable little girl named Maisy. At a mere 29 lbs, she wasn't what we had imagined walking into the shelter. She was smaller by far than any dog we had previously owned. But sometimes a dog just speaks to you, and this pointy-faced, bright-eyed girl did that for us.

Emmylou, as she was dubbed 20 minutes after signing the paperwork, is a great dog. She is a little firecracker, with seemingly endless energy. Ryan and I are both in better shape already as one or both of us rises before 7:00 every morning for her two mile walk. Then Ryan takes her again after dark. I'm sure she will get even more walkies once it cools off. She spends the rest of the day setting land speed records up and down the stairs, playing fetch with her Lambchop toy, and hunting her nemesis Nutsy the Squirrel in the backyard. But she's also a great nap partner and is allowed to sleep wherever she wants.

Emmylou

Getting a new dog is bittersweet. We already love her so much, but that hurt from Andre's passing is still there. Each one of our pups have had wildly different personalities, which makes this dog-ownership ride a lot of fun and makes it easier not to try and compare them. Melbotis was so smart and capable he was more of a housemate you could cuddle than a pet. Lucy had a delightful personality while also being our little troublemaker. Scout was scared of everything, but was so well behaved and was to-date the easiest to walk. Andre was our giant cuddle-bug who could never get enough attention, even as he was attempting to haul his 130 lb body onto your lap. And Emmylou, our first hunting dog (we think - DNA test is in the mail), has endless amounts of energy and thinks she is a cat. 

They each have a special place in my heart and that will never go away. I still miss all of the pets, and they all meant something different and special to me. 

Even Jeff the Cat, that little turkey.